KIRA would also like to officially apologize for today's North Korean nuclear test, which may or may not actually be a stockpile of fireworks detonated in a mine shaft. Since Pyongyang only exists today because of money funneled through Kŭmgangsan and Kaesŏng, Seoul takes full responsibility.
And apologies that it happened on Memorial Day, which was no doubt an attempt to further offend Americans, just like in 2006 with the Independence Day missile test.
Kushibo would like to go off the KIRA script for a moment and say: "Who the fu¢k cares? Ignore them. It's probably just an earthquake they're now taking credit for, after the fact."
[above: Members of the Korean People's Liberation Army receive mass training in how to jerk off the Dear Leader, should they ever be called upon for this task.]
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